Bringing down the rare Haggis scotticus – the Wild Haggis – to secure the next traditional Haggis meal – requires utmost agility and perseverance by human persecutors equipped with equally-measured lower extremities. One must know that Wild Haggii vary in characteristics and that it is two different genera who roam steep and rough highlandish terrain. In both cases the legs on their left are different in length from the ones on their right – and vice versa. Either way, their unusual physique allows them to swiftly climb and scuttle around their regular habitat unperturbed by topographical challenges, albeit in one single direction only: Wild Haggii featuring longer legs on the left, move around clockwise, whereas the ones relying on extended limbs on their right, will logically proceed counter-clockwise. A refined GPS system usually prevents painful head-on collisions and all Haggii, limbed in whichever fashion, are said to lead a fairly peaceful coexistence.
Posts in category: Gloss
TED Talk: How to beat stage fright
Phobias: A Plague or Mutations of the Basic Instinct?
Phobia is Greek and means to be afraid of something. In the non-Greek world, it is mainly used in psychological terms, signifying severe fear as in: terrified and: neurotic and: in need of professional treatment. Those in the grip of a veritable phobia are panic-stricken and paralyzed when it comes to tackling certain situations. Phobias are relics of our evolutionary past and were quite useful back then. Should a ferocious sabre-toothed tiger – teeth bared – spring up inadvertently from the undergrowth with an intimidating roar, the primitive brain would switch to red-alert and reliably signal to the short-legged homo erectus: RUN as fast as you can! It was a matter of survival, and the same basic instinct takes control over us in perilous situations until this day.
Common Sense vs. Decadence
The 25 most expensive Dishes and Drinks compiled by Ignitespot
As is widely known, there are many sappy fruitcakes on the face of this earth, some even make it to the top of politics. But no, what we are talking about here is genuine food, albeit of a nature that again gives reason to doubt reason. Spending a fortune on a humble slice of Japanese Miyazaki Wagyu beef – the Kobe superlative – may still be somewhat comprehensible given the fact that body and soul of an Asian cow need to be pampered into beef so artfully marbled and tender that effort and price are warranted and the cow is a happy one until death do them part, bovine and farmer. If you are a good Miyazaki-Wagyu-beef producer you might even win the Japanese Culinary Olympics Beef Competition held in Nagasaki every five years. And so it happens that a slice of Lancashire Wagyu & Mushroom Pie served in England may cost you a handsome 1,781 US-$.
Thank you, Benefactors
Striking it rich only once in a life-time? Ha! Millions of dollars and euros are bestowed on me every single day by email! Just like that! By total strangers such as you. So, it’s about time for me to say thank-you. To you, „Dr. Tobruqui al Benghazi“, high ranking official of Libya (95 million USD), to „Pandle Swallow“, trusted attorney of the Ivory-Coast business mogul who perished together with his family in a fire disaster (50m), to „John Christopher“ from the US lottery (450,000m), to „Daniel Kroklokwafz“ and „Xin Pling Chi“ from Hong Kong (500,000m each), to Barrister „Franz Mlojeek“ for reminding me of 15m USD lying dormant at a Royal Bank somewhere, to „Dr. Giles Comtrade“ from the “World Bank” saying that my idling 1,8m USD are waiting to be claimed, and to „Garda Giardino“ for letting me know that “United Nations” grants me 500,000 USD, for what merit I’m not sure. I do deserve it, though. It’s absolutely impossible to give credit to the many hundreds of you who have made my well-being your creed.
Higher and higher: The Box Spring Hype
One wonders why things already bulging at the seams have to be inflated out of proportion until – worst case and poof! – they are blown to bits. Take FIFA. Poof! Or the stock market. Or diligent kids having to excel on an ever wider field until poof! their attitude-refusal-button is activated and stays triggered seemingly forever. Take parts of the body high and low – enlarged to gigantic enormity until, oops, poof! and ouch! … And – greetings from the Princess and the Pea in Hans Christian Anderson’s fairy-tale – take the fashionable box spring bed with mattress over mattress forming layer over adventurous layer. Aerial ladders will soon have to be employed to conquer the silly tiered pile and safety nets mounted for the restless sleeper. If it makes poof! then, there won’t be much space left for the debris to disperse. Just beware of the springs!