Sense of humour required: Beware of translation engines!


When looking for the easy way out, people come up with the most ludicrous of excuses to warrant their hornswoggle doing: house on fire, dog dead, car stolen, wrong place/time/mood, worst bad-hair day ever, princess all of a sudden. Once the procrastination pole has inevitably run out of length, the dreaded task just has to be tackled, no matter what. Translations, for instance, can develop into a painfully tedious exercise. Isn’t it perfectly legitimate then to employ one of those servile robots available online in order to alleviate detested assignments? It is – if you can live with the results. We have put some of these practical computerised interpreters to the test, feeding them with stretches of German articles published during the early stages of’s young history. The English-speaking majority of our readership will have to think in meanders to unravel and realign the contorted texts back to meaning. Even though some of the pidgin might remain a secret forever: as long as no-one has been harmed, reading complete nonsense once in a while can be a great pastime.

Patience is required when disentangling a chaotic heap of  mumbo jumbo.

Ample patience is asked for when having to disentangle a chaotic heap of mumbo jumbo – no matter what it’s made of.

No sooner is the thought of Macau, the word ‘game’ in the game, sparked in the west synapses tangle a beacon that beats wild hook across an imaginary casino kaleidoscope. Here, with ‘varieties’ just flexible ways of thinking and approaches meant that – have led to a surprisingly harmonious whole – as here. With any luck, gives them the story wing that starts mid-16th century…

Croatia. Zagreb: joie de vivre of the Lameng This one has happy: at the opening a brainteaser! But it’s true: The necktie originates’ from Croatia and is therefore called thus: Croata! That it is not long since come by itself! And that Dalmatian dogs were named in the south of the country from a region, likely as a distinct black spots are obvious! And yet an open secret: Croatia’s capital Zagreb is really not the sea!

These Scots! The clichés there were more than enough to Scots are stingy, unsightly eat haggis, whiskey drinking lots and whistle incessantly on the bagpipes. They do not go without golf clubs out of the house wearing scratchy sweaters and plaid pleated skirts, meet in clans in Glens dancing all day Ceilidh [kay-lee] and throw in the highlands with tree trunks or rubber boots around. In addition, their belief in ghosts and sneaky to a monster resembling a dinosaur in a deep hole is indestructible!

A Segway is “an electrically driven single-person transport with two lying on the same axis wheels, between which the person carried is and consider themselves the electronic drive control itself in balance.” That’s right, almost, because the person carried required quite some balance! Otherwise, as a Segway is easy to use: If you sit in front of him, he moves forward, you can lean back, he stops. But when putting the weight on the left or right leg and /or pans the handlebar accordingly changes the Segway upright direction or curving nice. “This operation is the upright gait … The Segway is therefore intuitive to use.”

Mexico. Since you quaengelnde children in the electricity no deposit free jungle ado front of the TV can, thus with rest is in a box.

Header image: ©Christina Feyerke