Posts in category: Gloss

Thank you, benefactors

Apostil: Thank you, Benefactors

20.10.2017

Striking it rich only once in a life-time? Ha! Millions of dollars and euros are bestowed on me every single day by email! Just like that! By total strangers such as you. So, it’s about time for me to say thank-you. To you, „Dr. Tobruqui al Benghazi“, high ranking official of Libya (95 million USD), to „Pandle Swallow“, trusted attorney of the Ivory-Coast business mogul who perished together with his family in a fire disaster (50m), to „John Christopher“ from the US lottery (450,000m), to „Daniel Kroklokwafz“ and „Xin Pling Chi“ from Hong Kong (500,000m each), to Barrister „Franz Mlojeek“ for reminding me of 15m USD lying dormant at a Royal Bank somewhere, to „Dr. Giles Comtrade“ from the “World Bank” saying that my idling 1,8m USD are waiting to be claimed, and to „Garda Giardino“ for letting me know that “United Nations” grants me 500,000 USD, for what merit I’m not sure. I do deserve it, though. It’s absolutely impossible to give credit to the many hundreds of you who have made my well-being your creed. 

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Reading time: about 3 minutes
A Galloway by Pexels

Common Sense vs. Decadence

20.02.2017

 

The 25 most expensive Dishes and Drinks compiled by Ignitespot

As is widely known, there are many sappy fruitcakes on the face of this earth, some even make it to the top of politics. But no, what we are talking about here is genuine food, albeit of a nature that again gives reason to doubt reason. Spending a fortune on a humble trench of Japanese Miyazaki Wagyu beef – the Kobe superlative – may still be somewhat comprehensible given the fact that body and soul of an Asian cow need to be pampered into beef so artfully marbled and tender that effort and price are warranted and the cow is a happy one until death do them part, bovine and farmer. If you are a good Miyazaki-Wagyu-beef producer you might even win the Japanese Culinary Olympics Beef Competition held in Nagasaki every five years. And so it happens that a slice of Lancashire Wagyu & Mushroom Pie served in England may cost you a handsome 1,781 US-$.

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Reading time: about 2 minutes
The Wild Haggis: Fact or fiction?

Scotland: Is the Wild Haggis fact or fiction?

6.06.2016

Bringing down the rare Haggis scotticus – the Wild Haggis – to secure the next traditional Haggis meal – requires utmost agility and perseverance by human persecutors equipped with equally-measured lower extremities. One must know that Wild Haggii vary in characteristics and that it is two different genera who roam steep mountainous or rough highlandish terrain. In both cases the legs on their left are different in length from the ones on their right – and vice versa. Either way, their wondrous physique allows them to swiftly climb and scuttle around their regular habitat unperturbed by topographical challenges, albeit in one single direction only: Wild Haggii featuring longer legs on the left, move around clockwise, whereas the ones relying on extended limbs on their right, will logically proceed counter-clockwise. A refined GPS system usually prevents painful head-on collisions and all Haggii, limbed in whichever fashion, are said to lead a fairly peaceful coexistence.

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Reading time: about 4 minutes
The Princess and the Pea

Higher and higher: The Box Spring Hype

13.05.2016

One wonders why things already bulging at the seams have to be inflated out of proportion until – worst case and poof! – they are blown to bits. Take FIFA. Poof! Or the stock market. Or diligent kids having to excel on an ever wider field until poof! their attitude-refusal-button is activated and stays triggered seemingly forever. Take parts of the body high and low – enlarged to gigantic enormity until, oops, poof! and ouch! … And – greetings from the Princess and the Pea in Hans Christian Anderson’s fairy-tale – take the fashionable box spring bed with mattress over mattress forming layer over adventurous layer. Aerial ladders will soon have to be employed to conquer the silly tiered pile and safety nets mounted for the restless sleeper. If it makes poof! then, there won’t be much space left for the debris to disperse. Just beware of the springs!

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Reading time: about 3 minutes
Humour: Tricky translation engines

Sense of humour required: Beware of translation engines!

21.02.2016

When looking for the easy way out, people come up with the most ludicrous of excuses to warrant their hornswoggle doing: house on fire, dog dead, car stolen, wrong place/time/mood, worst bad-hair day ever, princess all of a sudden. Once the procrastination pole has inevitably run out of length, the dreaded task just has to be tackled, no matter what. Translations, for instance, can develop into a painfully tedious exercise. Isn’t it perfectly legitimate then to employ one of those servile robots available online in order to alleviate detested assignments? It is – if you can live with the results. We have put some of these practical computerised interpreters to the test, feeding them with stretches of German articles published during the early stages of goodmeetings.com’s young history. The English-speaking majority of our readership will have to think in meanders to unravel and realign the contorted texts back to meaning. Even though some of the pidgin might remain a secret forever: as long as no-one has been harmed, reading complete nonsense once in a while can be a great pastime.

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Reading time: about 3 minutes